


The Odyssey

by archerbellamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post S5 AU, angsty but also happy ending, canonverse, clarke talks to him everyday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:29:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archerbellamy/pseuds/archerbellamy
Summary: Bellamy?He had been passing by the control center when he heard it. A chill ran down his spine as he stood frozen in step. His breath caught in his throat. His jaw clenched as he listened closely in fear of a silent response, a confirmation that he was finally losing it. It only took a year.or a look into the 5+ years of Clarke talking to Bellamy, with Bellamy never being able to respond





	The Odyssey

**_Bellamy?_ **

He had been passing by the control center when he heard it. A chill ran down his spine as he stood frozen in step. His breath caught in his throat. His jaw clenched as he listened closely in fear of a silent response, a confirmation that he was finally losing it. It only took a year.

**_Bellamy, can you hear me?_ **

He dared to move his icy stare to the empty room, almost expecting to see a blond ghost standing there. Instead, he spots a small black speaker connected to a monitor. One that apparently has the ability to bring people back from the dead.

 **_I think I finally fixed this thing. I hope this is working._ ** A pause. He can hear shaky breaths absorbed in the static. **_Bellamy? Raven?_ **

“Clarke,” he whispers. His trembling legs find the ability to move first as he runs inside of the large room with blank monitors hanging all over. _She’s alive._ He frantically searches for anything to speak to her, rushing up to panels, not knowing what any of the buttons are supposed to do. _She’s alive._ He scans the buttons, pushing almost every single one, desperately wishing one of them to work. _She’s alive. How is she alive?_

“Raven, come quick!” His voice is hoarse, not having spoken much today to anyone. “Raven!”

“I’m coming!” Raven’s shout echoes through the hall.

 ** _I guess I can’t be as good as Raven, huh?_** Clarke laughs self-deprecatingly, a choked laugh that reveals she’s not only alive. She’s broken.

“Clarke,” he repeats, panicked that her voice could leave him at any second, pressing anything in the dead control center to keep her with him. The static leaves and he finds himself on the verge of tears. He repeated her name harshly as if she could hear him. “Clarke, Clarke, Clarke. Stay with me, Clarke.”

When Raven enters, he immediately rushes up to her. “Raven, how do we radio in this thing?”

“What are you talking about?” She asks, confused and a little frightened by his bewildered eyes. Clarke hasn’t said anything. _Why hasn’t Clarke said anything?_

“Clarke just spoke over the comms, how do we respond?” He impatiently demands, being louder than needed. But this was Clarke. This was Clarke Griffin, who refused to leave his thoughts, whose bright blond hair remained ingrained into his head for what he believed would be forever, whose blue eyes shimmering with hope before they would last see each other would haunt him at night long after he’s closed his. And she isn’t speaking.

“Bellamy-”

“ _I’m not crazy, Raven._ How do we respond?” Raven stares at him for a second and he can see the pity build up in her eyes. Before either can say anything, a click sounds off in the room. The static returns. And _she_ speaks again.

**_I miss you guys, you know._ **

Bellamy swallows, feeling as if a rock resided in his throat. He could hear the fragility in her voice. The complete humanity that is Clarke Griffin. He feels tears threaten to prick the corner of his eyes because, _God, she’s alive_ . She’s Clarke Griffin and she’s breathing heavily to him, breathing despite the death wave that occurred exactly a year ago. The very death wave he imagined in his nightmares choking her in her last heroic moments of saving all of them. She’s calling out for _him_. Before he turns back, Raven is already going to work, grabbing a panel to respond back.

“Come on, come on,” Raven mumbles to herself as she presses buttons with agility rather than the desperation of Bellamy. He stares blankly at the speaker, waiting for her next words.

**_It’s officially been a year since Praimfaya. 365 days. How are you guys doing?_ **

_Horrible without you,_ he thinks.

**_It must be weird being in the Ark again._ **

_It is. It really is._

**_Is the skybox still in shape?_ ** She chuckles into the radio. **_You should check out my cell, Bell. I’m sure it will impress._ **

_Bell._ He doesn’t think she’s ever called him that before.

**_I guess you could say I’m in my own skybox now._ **

When she stays silent after that, Bellamy gets worried, wishing the static would not leave the room. He immediately looks over at Raven. Her eyes wildly flicker across the room, trying to think of any solutions.

“Maybe I could…” Raven starts, to no one in particular, leaving the room in a hurry. He almost goes with her. But, he can’t bring his feet to move away from the speaker. Instead, he stares at it, praying for her to speak again, unknowing as to who he’d even pray to.

Raven comes back with a power drill and crouches underneath the panel. She observes the wiring. Bellamy can see how fast her mind is moving as her hands tug at wiring while she holds a flashlight in her mouth, trying every solution.

But, then she stops.

“Raven?” His voice sounds more frail than it did earlier. She punches the metal sheet she drilled out, her face scrunching in frustration.

“The circuits blew out.” He stares at her and she avoids his gaze, her back to him. Raven’s voice is soft and sorrowful. “We can’t restore the power or fix the signal. We don’t have the equipment.”

His stomach drops and he swallows a rock down his throat. His head is shaking in disbelief because why couldn’t he have this?

He covers his face with his hands, trying to recall her every word. Her cell. Bell.

365 days. She’s been counting. Just like him.

He hears Raven begin to stand up. “Bellamy, I’m sorr-”

**_I need you, Bellamy._ **

Bellamy springs to his feet. He goes as close to the speaker as he can, clinging on to every breath, every word spoken and unspoken in her voice.

Those words. Those words that have stuck with them from the beginning. He recalls their breathless exchange, sitting by the tree, and he remembers wanting to run away with her that very night. He remembers how those words gave him motivation to be someone new. He remembers those words when they felt bitter, tainted, when it seemed that they came from Wanheda rather than Clarke. And he remembers how those words built him back up when they reconciled, standing by the beach, breathing in the salty air while being intoxicated by her arms around him.

_I need you too._

**_We never really said goodbye. But, I’m glad you left. I’m glad you survived._ **

_It should have been you. It should’ve been me and you._

**_You finally listened to me, huh? Guess there’s a first time for everything. I don’t think you need me as your head. You got your own screwed right._ **

_But, I do. I do. I need you. Everyday._ She chuckles. Small breaths leave her mouth. He closes his eyes. She feels so close. He feels like he could reach out right now, and he would be able to hold her just one more time.

**_It would be really nice to hear your voice. Polite thing would be to respond, Blake._ **

_I’m here. I’m here._ He doesn’t notice he’s mumbling out loud until he feels Raven’s hand on his shoulder. He turns to her and she nods once to him before leaving the room, giving him privacy.

**_I guess you were never one for being polite._ **

He attempts to crack a smile that too easily cracks him. His vision blurs as his tears finally fall to his cheeks, greeting his freckles.

**_Well, I just wanted you to know, the nightblood worked. I’m okay. It took me a while to work out food and all, but I’m okay. It gets lonely though. It’s hard to keep sane._ **

_Why didn’t you hurry back? Why didn’t you come back?_

**_I tried to talk to your sister._ **

He freezes at the mention of Octavia. He wondered how the most important people in his life managed to get away from him.

**_I guess their communication system is down too. One hell of a wave._ **

_I miss you._

**_I’ll let you know if they say anything. Take care of yourselves._ **

_No, don’t leave. Please don’t leave._

**_I miss you._ **

Just like that, the static is gone. He immediately grabs the speaker, listening closely. After ten minutes, of silence, of hearing his own restricted breath too scared to miss a word, when he realizes she’s not returning this time, he kicks the wall and slides down against it.

_I left her._

“Bellamy?” Bellamy glances up to Murphy, who stands by the entrance.

“Go away, Murphy.”

“Raven told me what happened.”

“Go away, Murphy.”

But Murphy doesn’t go away. He slides beside him.

“She’s okay, Bellamy. She’s alive.”

“I left her. She’s still alive and I left her.”

“And that’s what she wanted, right? You said that yourself. She wouldn’t want you to die.”

Bellamy considers his words from a year ago. A year ago. A whole year had Clarke Griffin been alive on Earth, breathing, while he was tormented by nightmares of her voice saying his name before being suffocated by the air.

He nods slightly, still staring at the ground. After carefully watching Bellamy to make sure he doesn’t explode, Murphy pushes himself off the ground and leaves Bellamy sitting there wondering whether he felt close to as lonely as Clarke did in the past year.

 

-

 

Bellamy knows his friends are worried about him. Raven detached the speaker from the control room so that Bellamy could stop hiding himself in the room, waiting for a call he was not sure would come again. It was a bit bulkier than his old radio on Earth, but he could not risk missing her come back. He had to believe he would hear Clarke’s voice again.

After several hours, everyone goes to their rooms. Bellamy lays on his thin mattress, remembering how he had to endure such an empty room the year after his mom got floated. The year after he lost Octavia.

It seemed as if Bellamy would always be taken from the people he loved.

He keeps the radio right next to the bedside, waiting. He feels himself falling asleep after staring at the metallic ceiling for hours.

Until the static is back.

His eyes widen as he turns to the speaker.

**_Hello?_ **

He shot up from the bed, instantly grabbing the radio. “Clarke?”

**_Bellamy?_ **

“I’m here, I’m here.”

**_Well, it’s, uh, me. Day 366. Today wasn’t so bad, I guess. I decorated the place a little. If you saw my cell, you get the idea. Did you?_ **

“I did,” he finds himself responding out loud. He remembers his early mission to discover all that was Clarke Griffin in that cell. Entering the cell, he found himself feeling a sentiment towards Clarke he never felt before. She embellished the room with a passion that could only belong to Clarke Griffin, curling her trees to harmonize with the stars above, drawing animals and flowers to cover the metal ground she’d walk on.

He didn’t know that side of her, the side that wasn’t always just trying to survive. This Clarke that drew her dreams on the walls and created an Earth in a cell. She was one he wanted to meet. He wanted to meet every side of her.

“It was very Clarke.”

**_Asking questions without receiving answers is definitely going to drive me mad. Should probably not do that._ **

He smiles endearingly, wishing he could tease her the way he would on Earth when he wanted to make her smile.

**_You know, I don’t know if you knew already, but I spent some time in solitary on the Ark. So at least I got some practice for this._ **

He did know. He remembers the whispers about the medic’s daughter who caused such an uproar that she had to be contained. It was hard not to hear about one of the Council’s kids being placed in solitary.

**_To be honest, talking to you, even if you’re not really there, is helping a lot though. I haven’t spoken to anyone in 366 days. So, thank you, Bellamy. You’re helping me even when you’re not here._ **

But he wanted to be.

**_I don’t really have much else to say. What is there to say being stuck here?_ **

_Anything. Please don’t go again._

**_So, I guess I’ll just, uh, end it here._ **

He deflates _._

**_This is so weird. I feel like I’m praying to you._ **

He lets himself laugh, unaware of how long it’s been since he has.

**_I can practically hear your smart ass comment. Something about how you are a god._ **

He laughs again. It’s a wonderful feeling to have his breath taken away differently.

She goes silent for a few moments before speaking again.

**_I miss you. I miss all of you. So much._ **

_I miss you._ Her breath gets shaky.

**_We’ll talk tomorrow?_ **

_Yes._

 

_-_

 

**_Day 524. So I’m almost done reading all of the books left over here. Becca doesn’t have a wide variety. There’s only a few stories. The Odyssey is my favorite one, I think._ **

He smiles as he stares at the ceiling, relaxing in his bed at the sound of her familiar voice. _Mine too._

**_I wonder what your favorite was._ **

 

-

 

**_Day 648. Bellamy, I’ve tried everything._ **

Bellamy clutches the radio, bringing it close to him. Clarke is sobbing hysterically into her radio.

**_I tried to fix the communications, I don’t even know if I did that right. I tried to make contact with the ground, but there’s radio silence. I tried to step outside for more than a day but I couldn’t bear it._ **

**_I tried, I tried, I tried. I don’t know if I can do it anymore._ **

More than anything, he wanted to be there with her. _He should be with her._ “Clarke, Clarke, listen to me-”

**_It sucks to be the only person on Earth, you know that? Of course you don’t, you aren’t listening to me. For all I know, you’re not even-_ **

She stops. He hangs on to her pause, knowing exactly what she was going to say. The vulnerability in her voice exaggerates their distance. He can’t comfort her or tell her that they’re okay. That he’s okay.

And that, one day, she will be too.

He desperately sets down his radio on his night stand and starts pleading. “I’m right here, Clarke.”

**_I just don’t know what to do anymore, Bellamy. I’m trying. I’m trying all the time. I’m trying to remember your face and your smile. I’m trying to remember my mom, my dad, Wells. I’m trying to remember myself._ **

Bellamy starts punching the walls, kicking his dresser, yelling in frustration at the pain in his fist and his heart.

**_But it’s just so hard._ **

He groans in pain at his bloodied knuckles, feeling useless. She grows quiet on the other side, but he can hear her shaky breaths as he drops back to his bed, clutching the radio. He can hear her crying.

**_I used to think being alone was just my thing. When I was in solitary, that’s all I had. Myself._ **

He recalls that one conversation, if he can call it that, a while ago when she first started radioing him. She told him all about her time in solitary and how she got in. He winces at her mention of it now that he understands its effect on her.

**_When I left Arkadia after Mount Weather, that’s all I thought I should be. By myself. And now, I don’t want to be that anymore._ **

Bellamy carefully listens to every cracked word, every breath, every sound.

**_I want to be with my friends. With Raven, Monty, Harper, Miller, Octavia. Hell, even with Murphy. With my mom. With Kane._ **

He holds his breath at her pause.

**_With you._ **

He clenches his jaw tightly and screws his eyes shut as they begin to water.

**_I don’t know if I can wait for five years._ **

 

-

 

**_Day 978 since Praimfaya. Bellamy. You will never believe what happened._ **

**_Today, I actually met someone. A little girl. Her name’s Madi. She’s a Natblida that survived. She tried rummaging the place for food, about to starve to death. I think she’ll be staying with me though. She’s sleeping in my bed right now. It took her a while to trust me at all. She’s been through a lot, but she’s tough._ **

The pure joy in her voice fills him, the way today’s meal couldn’t. He tries to picture Clarke with a little girl. But he realizes he can’t come up with her face. He thinks he has the right image, but it fades the harder he tries grasping it. He shakes the bitterness that sweeps him at this, and thinks of Clarke, being Clarke, taking care of someone else. “I’m happy for you, Clarke. I’m so happy for you.”

**_I can’t wait for you to meet her, Bell. She reminds me of you._ **

 

-

 

**_Day 1079 since Praimfaya. Bellamy, I hope everything is okay up there. We’re almost done with two years now. I don’t think I would’ve made it much longer without you or Madi. Thank you. You still keep me alive._ **

_You’ve got it backwards._

 

-

 

**_Day 1369. Let’s run this again. Bellamy, if you can hear me, you’re still alive. We’re halfway through these five years. No signs of life on the ground as usual. Madi tells me she’s excited to see it grow again, so she can go back home. We’re like Odysseus, huh? On a long journey back home. I’ll race you there._ **

He smiles to himself. _You got it._

 

_-_

 

**_Day 1686. Okay, Bellamy, we’re almost there. We just need to make it halfway through this year and then we can start again._ **

He can feel her radiate through the radio as she laughs with relief. He finds himself doing the same.

**_Madi liked talking to you yesterday. I can tell. Even if she didn’t give that impression._ **

He smiles warmly. ‘Are you talking about me?’ he can hear in the background.

**_Madi, come say hi!_ **

There’s some silence before the static returns.

**_Bellamy, how’s it been? You better come through after all this like Clarke said. I want to see how great the Great Bellamy is. Isn’t she crazy for talking to you for so long?_ **

_Not at all._ He laughs freely, openly. He laughs more now as the date approaches. It’s a good feeling. Madi becomes quiet, speaking almost in a whisper.

**_You know, she’s gone right now, but I think she really loves you._ **

He swallows, but there’s no rock that goes down. There’s no pain in the pit of his stomach. There’s only warmth and spirit, swirling down his throat, through his body, nourishing his veins. Is this what that ‘butterflies’ expression was about?

**_Don’t tell her I told you or she’ll kill me._ **

 

-

 

**_Day 1825. Bellamy, this is it! It’s officially been five years since Praimfaya. The ground isn’t the best, but I checked the levels. It’s survivable. The ground is beginning to grow again and I see it. I can’t wait to see you again._ **

**_Madi and I are trying to contact the bunker again today. I’ll let you know how that goes. Tell Raven and everyone else that it’s time to come home._ **

 

-

 

**_Day 1945. Bellamy? It’s been three months. Where are you guys? It’s safe for you to come down. Please tell me you guys are still-_ **

**_The bunker isn’t responsive either. I try it every day with Madi._ **

**_Bellamy, please. Are you okay? Did you make it?_ **

**_I need you._ **

 

-

 

**_Day 1955 since Praimfaya. Bellamy, if you really are gone, I-_ **

**_Remember when we first hated each other? I thought that you were nowhere close to being someone I could trust. But it was so easy. One conversation with you, and I felt like I could trust you ever since. One conversation with you against a damn tree and now, here I am talking to you everyday. I can’t lose you._ **

**_You told me a long time ago, before all this, not to give up hope. Because we’re still breathing._ **

**_So as long as I’m breathing, I hope you are too._ **

 

_-_

 

**_Bellamy, if you can hear me, you’re alive. It’s been 2199 days since Praimfaya. I don’t know why I still do this everyday. Maybe it’s my way of staying sane. Not forgetting who I am, who I was._ **

**_It’s been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven’t you?_ **

 

-

 

When he steps on the ground again, for the first time in over 6 years, Bellamy remembers his first day on Earth again. Standing with Clarke, with Octavia, and his other friends, unknowing of the type of future that awaited them. The fates that tied them together. He breathes in the Earth's thin air that just learned to become breathable itself once again and looked up at the shining sun that Clarke said she couldn't see for five years.

His first thought is Clarke. Octavia. He can see them again. He can hold them again. He hears the others laughing behind him at the view of Earth, the others who have become a family to him.

“Clarke!” He shouts off, looking in every direction, somehow expecting her to be right there. “Clarke!”

“Bellamy, she’s probably not-” Murphy begins, before a loud crash catches their attention.

“Clarke,” Bellamy shouts, running towards the direction of the crash.

“Bellamy, wait!”

He doesn’t listen. He runs. Fast. He doesn’t care about the scratches on his face as the branches around him snap back at him. He pushes everything out of his way, racing forward.

“Clarke!”

“Bellamy!” He feels his eyes get watery at the sound. “Bellamy!”

He follows her voice. He doesn’t care how far he is from his friends, or if he has a scrape bleeding from the side of his arm. He just races forward with all that he has.

Until he rams into something.

Or someone.

He falls back, groaning at the impact with the ground below. The other person does the same.

But when he looks up, it’s her.

It’s Clarke Griffin.

The girl who spoke to him every single day for 5 years and more. The girl who waited and hoped. For him.

They stare at each other, both slowly getting up, without taking their eyes off one another.

He gaped at the presence of her, his eyes wandering up and down her body as she did the same. His eyes froze at her all too familiar face at the same time that hers stopped at his. The blue eyes that he feared were wiped from his memory were suddenly back, filling in the blanks of his thoughts. Her bright blond hair weathered from years of struggle, but burning bright and triumphantly into his memory as before. She could barely smile as she cried, but he saw her cheeks curve up as they drank each other up. His own smile followed through.

This was Clarke Griffin. The only girl he’s ever loved.

She moves first, wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly he momentarily fears he won’t be able to breathe. He wraps his arms around her, breathing her in, remembering the embraces they’ve shared before. The comfort and familiar feel of her body around him felt mesmerizing. It was too good to be true. It had to be a dream.

“I knew it,” she whispered, as she buried her face into his shoulder, shaking. “You’re too stubborn to die.”

He laughed, shaking just like her, and stroked her head gently, his fingers tangling in her blond hair as he held her the way he wished he could all these years.

“I heard you. I heard you every day.” She sobbed into his shoulder.

He was Odysseus. And he was finally home.

 


End file.
